what if...
time could flow backwards???
which period that you would like to go back???
i would say the days before 14th December 2008
the day you leave me
leave this family
and made this family incomplete forever
making joyful fall so far apart from this family
i ever wondered
how could you be so cruel
towards me
and dad
and brothers
yup,i know
you want us to be independent
but
is there any other better way?
yes
there is
but you just chosen that way
and you didn't even give me a chance to see you
for the last time
you just went off when i reached at 8.30pm
and the doctor just gave me a sudden hit on my mind
the visiting period had already over
we asked the doctor's permission to go in
i waited until 8.45pm
and being told that you have left this world at 8sharp!!!!
everything just went blank in my mind
my first reaction is to run away and cry
i couldn't accept this
5th aunt and the eldest cousin pulled me
carry me by my sides
slowly we walked into the wad
the smelly wad,with all kinds of medicine's smell
that i would never forget
i hate it...
Watching your body
i never knew that i could be so brave to look at a dead body for so long
and i even touched IT
when i didn't even dared to go near to grandpa's coffin
9 months before
after all the procedures
finally
you reached home at midnight
most relatives and friends were already there
i helped to clean your body
it's the power of love
aunt said:stop crying!don't drop your tears on her!not good!(its a kind of believe)
i can't control myself
i just can't!!!!
my tears just keep flowing out like untapped water
for 3 days
did you see that???
all because of you...
and now,
i might looks living a happy life outside there
i believe
you know that it's not true inside here
in my heart
i understand the fact
that things come and go
same to people
but i just can't accept that
you leave me so early
when i was 17
it was too young to me
to lost you
i couldn't forgive you until now
i will still cry for you in the midnight
why?????
because i love you too much
MUM,I LOVE YOU
I MISS YOU
A LOT!!!!!!!!!
did you hear me????
