Missing you

what if...

time could flow backwards???

which period that you would like to go back???

i would say the days before 14th December 2008

the day you leave me

leave this family

and made this family incomplete forever

making joyful fall so far apart from this family

i ever wondered

how could you be so cruel

towards me

and dad

and brothers

yup,i know

you want us to be independent

but

is there any other better way?

yes

there is

but you just chosen that way

and you didn't even give me a chance to see you
for the last time

you just went off when i reached at 8.30pm

and the doctor just gave me a sudden hit on my mind

the visiting period had already over

we asked the doctor's permission to go in

i waited until 8.45pm

and being told that you have left this world at 8sharp!!!!

everything just went blank in my mind

my first reaction is to run away and cry

i couldn't accept this

5th aunt and the eldest cousin pulled me

carry me by my sides

slowly we walked into the wad

the smelly wad,with all kinds of medicine's smell

that i would never forget

i hate it...

Watching your body

i never knew that i could be so brave to look at a dead body for so long

and i even touched IT

when i didn't even dared to go near to grandpa's coffin
9 months before

after all the procedures

finally

you reached home at midnight

most relatives and friends were already there

i helped to clean your body

it's the power of love

aunt said:stop crying!don't drop your tears on her!not good!(its a kind of believe)

i can't control myself

i just can't!!!!

my tears just keep flowing out like untapped water

for 3 days

did you see that???

all because of you...

and now,

i might looks living a happy life outside there

i believe

you know that it's not true inside here

in my heart

i understand the fact

that things come and go

same to people

but i just can't accept that

you leave me so early

when i was 17

it was too young to me

to lost you

i couldn't forgive you until now

i will still cry for you in the midnight

why?????

because i love you too much

MUM,I LOVE YOU

I MISS YOU
A LOT!!!!!!!!!

did you hear me????